Physical
illness, depression, and normal aging can all sap one’s energy, but those
sources aren’t the ones on my mind today. I’m thinking about what has come to
be called “compassion fatigue” and the more recent tag, “outrage fatigue,” a
phrase I only ran across last Friday for the first time but instantly
recognized as a diagnosis I could claim. “Outrage fatigue,” I noted on
Facebook. “Yep. That about sums it up.”
[Until correcting the paragraph above on 10/31, I had typed--but not intended--to say that compassion fatigue "about summed it up." I meant "outrage fatigue," and that's what I had posted on Facebook. I find outrage infinitely more tiring than compassion.]
[Until correcting the paragraph above on 10/31, I had typed--but not intended--to say that compassion fatigue "about summed it up." I meant "outrage fatigue," and that's what I had posted on Facebook. I find outrage infinitely more tiring than compassion.]
A
friend quickly cautioned that they are counting on our fatigue. (Aren’t
these sides fatiguing in themselves? Sadly, they are very real, and that’s
discouraging, too.) So, the outragers and their staunch supporters are
confident that the rest of us will eventually turn our backs on the struggle
for justice: that is my friend’s very important reminder to me.
When
I diagnose myself as fatigued by outrage, however, I don’t prescribe for myself
or anyone else a permanent flight from reality. Just a break! An evening
away from the news, at the very least, because let’s face it – every day there
is news to outrage the ideals of civility, decency, and fairness, to use a few
simple, old-fashioned terms.
After
I’ve had a little break, however, I go back to dig deeper into the idea of
compassion and outrage fatigue, and, underneath both, what I find is a despair
bred of feelings of helplessness.
If
we are called upon, day after day, to feel compassion but feel we can do
nothing to ease suffering, we feel helpless, and helplessness is only one step
away from despair. If we are outraged, over and over, but feel powerless, we are
vulnerable to despair, too. And the horrid thing about despair is that it
paralyzes – and when we allow paralysis to get a grip on us, we truly are helpless.
Here’s
something else I think I see: a connection between outrage and compassion. If
we ourselves are not being personally victimized, why should we feel outrage
except for the fact that we also feel compassion for those who are?
So
what can we do with
our compassion and our outrage?
I
took Sunday off from the cares and problems of “the world” and spent hours
cleaning floors, catching up on laundry, making soup, filing, recycling, and
giving the dog a bath. It felt good to address tasks I could accomplish in a
single day, with nothing but determination and raw physical energy. An added
benefit (in addition to a clean dog and clean house and clothes) is that taking
action to address these ordinary little home jobs also energizes me for larger,
more difficult tasks, the kind that can’t be accomplished in a day but require
dedication over the long haul. Little successes remind me that I am not
powerless.
Neither,
of course, am I Superwoman. No one is (and no one is Superman, either). Bigger
tasks cannot be resolved in a single day. Family, friendship, community,
country – whenever human beings are involved, there’s no shortcut to a long
relationship, and I fully expect to leave this world with the struggle for
justice still going on. Well, so what? Is that an excuse for shrugging off my
own responsibility? I don’t think so.
Other
people with good, positive, constructive, feasible ideas are pioneers
who break trails for the rest of us. Switch: How to Change Things When
Change is Hard,
by Chip Heath & Dan Heath, and The Revolution Where You Live: Stories
From a 12,000-Mile Journey Through a New America, by Sarah van Gelder
will be books that help me move forward.
One
day at a time? It’s the only option on life’s table.
3 comments:
One step at a time is the best option. It may indeed be the only one but I think it's also the best. Taking time away from stressful news is important. If we don't take care of ourselves we can't help others.
Brava!
Deborah and Helen -- LOVE YOU!!!
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